On: The Self

I often feel surreally on the outside looking in, as though I know something that the entirety of the rest of the world is somehow blind to. I think how ignorant and foolish mankind is as I stare down at them in astonished wonderment as to how they could be so stupid! And then, after some time, I realise I was looking in the mirror but hadn't realise it. I realise how ignorant and arrogant I was, not to mention presumptuous. I just find it far easier to criticise and call out others in those regards than to call myself out. But then, I wonder, how am I supposed to teach anyone anything if I don't call them out, if I don't criticise them..? I'm not criticising in the most common sense, but in the sense of a well-meaning critique, intended to help provide guidance and improvement, yes? No, not so much. At least... not with the exclusion of myself. I cannot drone on about how no one is special without saying that I am not special. I cannot drone on about equality while raising myself above others. I cannot drone on about how selfless I am without saying how selfish I am, as well. There are two sides to every coin, after all, and I even say often enough how much duality has veins deep within my world-view and personal philosophies.

But this arrogance of my act simply demonstrates the point! I point out other's ignorance or arrogance, but in doing so, must also confront and point out my own. My spiritual views are pantheistic, and I believe all that is is God, and therefore God is all that is. Doesn't conflict with the bible, nor many other religious views, either, which I'm contented about. I also see the entire universe as fractals from the smallest things in existence to the very largest. Patterns woven into the fabric of reality over and over, creating bigger and bigger versions of those same patterns. I believe all is one, and one is all. Therefore, whenever I say something of someone else I hold to be true, is that not therefore true of me in some way? Is the world around me, and all those who fill it, not simply a reflection of myself in some way?

When I lash out, it's because I'm also lashing in, in essence. My loathing of the world tends to merely reflect my self-loathing. Likewise, others being happy can very well make me happy, even if I have no idea who it is that is happy – I merely know that they are happy, and that's enough. Their happiness makes me happy because the two – I and they – are reflections of one another. Likewise, I preach letting go of the ego – or the self – in favor of living for others, and yet acknowledge the necessity of serving one's self, lest they cannot serve others. Serving others, however, serves the self, just as much as one must serve the self in order to serve others. The two are one and the same, so really, I mean that one must let go of the illusion that the two are different. Oneness with God, in my views, is no different than Oneness with the Universe. Therefore, loving thy neighbor is fundamentally loving thyself, as well. These are what I personally hold to be mutually inalienable truths.

If others are delusional, then so am I. If others are dumb, then so am I. If others are selfish, then so am I. However... if others are intelligent, then so am I. If others are beautiful, then so am I. If others are loving, then so am I. One is One with God whether one wishes it or not, and yet I see Hell as the dissonance of one from God (and, therefore, the universe, including those around them.) This dissonance, this disconnect, causes friction and frustration, discord and dysphoria. You can believe or not believe in God, it does not matter. You can see God as merely a literary device or metaphor, but I implore you not to let religion or semantics get in the way of these words I write.

Accept your flaws when you can. Accept the flaws of others when you can. Accept your good qualities when you can. Accept the good qualities of others when you can. Accept yourself for who you are, but accept others for who they are, as well. This does not mean you should become complacent. This does not mean there is no need, nor reason, to change. However, in the moment, all is as it is, and nothing can change that, as change happens over time, and therefore cannot happen in the moment that all is as it is. Accept that you do not have power over all, but also accept that you are a part of the universal power over all that exists. The point is not to succeed in these things, nor is it to become a 'perfect' human being. Rather, by accepting these things, you accept the reality that such is quite impossible, and that no one is perfect. The point is simply to try. Try for yourself, but also try for others. Try for others for yourself, and try for yourself for others. Give to the universe, and you give to yourself. Give to yourself, and you give to the universe. However, by making a distinction, by giving to yourself purely for your own sake, you breed dissonance and discord with the universe, and by giving to the universe purely for the universe's sake, you breed self-destruction.