The Neutron Star of Moods

When a star dies, it undergoes a common process known as supernova. When you dissect the word 'super-nova,' you get the Latin words (or, at least, word parts) for 'beyond/above' and 'new.' Essentially, it translates to a birth that transcends its previous state as a star (really, though, it's superlative to the phenomenon 'nova,' which I'll discuss later, but I'm using this definition for my analogy.) Typically, a star becomes either a black hole or a neutron star in this 'transcendent state.' Some lesser stars don't get to even supernova (but instead 'nova'), simply burning out like an ember. But those that go above and beyond either have the ability to suck up all but fermions around it with immensely destructive power, or become an almost unfathomably dense super-magnetically-charged ocean of bright, rotating, lighthouse like neutrons. These 'lighthouse' beams of gamma rays can obliterate anything in their path - including planets or even other stars.

What's the point of this astrology slash quantum physics lesson? Bipolar moods are kind of like the results of supernovae (and sometimes feel like supernovae.) Depression can feel like a crushing, dark, destructive black hole. On the other hand, mania can feel like super-charged, gamma-ray-emitting, speedily-spinning neutron stars that blast through anything in their sights. Mania. That's what I'm discussing today. I've been up since 6:00 p.m. and it's now 1:00-ish p.m. I plan on staying up for at least 13 plus more hour. That'll be 32 hours of being awake. Here's the catch: I have no more melatonin which is rather pivotal to getting to sleep, Tramadol can often aid in sleep, but can act as an accelerant to my manic episodes, and I don't know when this episode will die out. For all I know, I could stay awake for past 48 hours... maybe closer to 60 or 70! I just don't know. I'm wide awake, it's morning... is a semi-fitting song title by Bright Eyes. O, coffee, why do I desire thee so, before I slip into mania? Why doth my subconscious, pre-manic mind bend to thine seductive power? Mania is one of the only times that caffeine and sugar affect me. Look out... whatever needs to look out in the near future! My manic rays will mow you down! Perhaps... the bathroom floor will know my power!