Today, I'm gonna to talk about some of the 'faces' of bipolar, and to a degree mental disorders in general, and some ways situations affected by those faces could play out. Probably none of the information will be universally accurate or effective; everyone's different, even if they have the same diagnosis.
So, here are some of the faces (likely an incomplete list):
Neutral/Normal: Exactly what it sounds like; the 'Green Zone' of bipolar. Normal, basic, healthy - whatever you want to call it (though 'neutral' could possibly also mean apathetic, which isn't so healthy.) While an individual who is in the 'normal' stage may not show any signs of a disorder, she still has that common human element of unpredictability. You can typically treat her like any other person - though that's not necessarily to say that she would want to be treated differently in other cases, while showing the other faces of her disorder; some people simply wanted to be treated normally.
Depressed: This is a common face for many, many people with a mental disorder, spread across a wide demographic and a wide spectrum of different disorders. It can become extremely different for friends, loved ones, and carers to know how to treat an individual who is depressed, and - once again - everyone's different. Some people just want someone to talk to, while others may want to just be alone. Some peoples may want intimacy and/or hugs, while others may want the exact opposite. Some people may eat more, while others eat less, and so on and so forth. Really, you just have to learn the habits of the individual and play it by ear. You can never be too careful when treading a minefield.
Some rules of thumb - very broad rules of thumb - are: men tend to manifest their depression as anger. Taking their aggression personally can be one of the most detrimental things you could do. Women, on the other hand, tend to either become withdrawn and/or desire love and affection. Both genders may push their loved ones away, even if they actually want the exact opposite (so trying to be there for the individual even when they say they want otherwise isn't always a bad idea, unless they seem very adamant about wanting to be left alone; weigh the costs and benefits the best you can.) Sometimes being adamant about being left alone or more suspicious/atypical behaviors can be signs of being suicidal, so it's usually best to be close by just in case. This, and even some other situations, may often call for immediate medical intervention at the hospital.
Manic: This is, simply put, a whirlwind. An individual who is manic is often totally unpredictable, physically and emotionally tolling (both for her and those around her), and even a danger to themselves or others. She would likely have the attention span of a six-year-old, should that six-year-old be on a sugar rush with ADHD. She might have the speed and activeness of a cat high on catnip and, speaking of catnip, even start having hallucinations and delusions. She may speak faster than you can keep up with, or occasionally faster than she can keep up with! I know I've had a train wreck of thoughts during manic episodes where I couldn't keep up with my own thoughts.
Now, when I say a danger to herself or others, I mean being impulsive and have risky behavior such as gambling, shopping frivolously, and even things like promiscuity (hypersexuality) and drug abuse. If someone who is manic is simply too manic, the hospital may very well be the next stop you and she will have to go, just like with depression. A manic individual may become very irritable or even (or rather often) euphoric. She may feel like the greatest thing to ever happen to the world, or think she thought of the greatest thing to ever happen to the world. She may make promises she can keep when she finally crashes or the manic episode simply goes away. Feelings of grandeur, grandiosity, and other 'grand' sort of things are certainly not uncommon.
Apathetic: While all of the moods and behaviors can be found in essentially any non-disordered person, just in a smaller version, apathy can be one of the even more common and relatable of these different moods and behaviors. An individual can be hyper or excited (smaller version of mania) or sad/blue (smaller version of depression.) However, apathy is a quality that any individual can have under one circumstance or another, even at the same level of someone with a disorder.
And apathetic individual usually shuns her emotional involvement in one situation or another, or even all situations for a period of time. Apathy can also be confused with angst, though they are actually very different. Few individuals who aren't sociopaths, or something of the sort, are totally apathetic, also. There's still a human being underneath that façade, and it's often very important to let her know that you know that. In the end, just about everyone wants to simply be treated like a human being, even when they're withdrawn or need some time alone,
Mixed: An individual may have mixed emotions, moods, or a 'mixed episode,' as it's often called in the world of mental health. During such a time, she may have qualities of manic, depressive, and even more 'neutral' or apathetic episodes. These episodes can be even more unpredictable and varied. When dealing with an individual in such an episode, one may need to play it completely by ear - there's no way to predict how it will turn out or what the best methods of traversing the situations are.
To go about the difficult task of supporting someone during a mixed episode (or any episode, really), walking on eggshells can actually be a very good and important thing to do. There's nothing like saying the wrong thing and then repeating the mistake to make the situation go completely out of control. If you do accidentally say the wrong thing, instead of diving deeper into the issue, try to back off a little bit, show compassion and empathy, and then simply let go.
Other Noteworthy Things / Dealing with Unpredictability: When an individual becomes defensive or attempts to dodge a question, don't push it. You can support someone without trying to 'get to the bottom of things,' so to speak. Sometimes the best thing to support her is to simply say nothing at all. Gestures can be so much more important than words. When an individual is depressed, words often don't mean much, or can even exacerbate the situation, whereas caring gestures can make a world of difference.
When an individual becomes offensive, or just mean, it's usually best to try not to take things seriously, even though it can be incredibly difficult. Once again, sometimes the best thing to do is to simply not say anything, as just one wrong word could potentially set her off. Maybe half the time an angry or frustrated individual couldn't care less about gestures, either. Removing yourself from the equation and giving her some space could be one of the best things you could do.
When an individual tries to dodge a question or a subject, imagine she's trying to dodge a bullet, because that's how it may feel to her. It's obviously a sore spot and you don't want to be pressure on the soreness - it just doesn't turn out well for anyone. Periodically bringing the subject up isn't always bad, though; just make sure to bring it up, and not push it.
In a very simplistic way of putting things, adapt; find patterns and work from there. Just like many things in life, you just need to figure it out because there isn't a manual. No matter how many articles and blogs you read, you can't find the perfect recipe for caring for a loved one or friend with a mood disorder (though those things can certainly help.) You may have a very difficult time bearing the burdens of caring for such a person, but just know that it's likely even harder for the individuals themselves. A loved one's depression can take an emotional toll on you, but try to stand in their shoes - it's certainly not a walk in the park for them, either.
Anxiety. It has a pivotal role in the lives of many people, but there's good anxiety and bad anxiety. People with a mood disorder can very likely be susceptible to bad anxiety. The moods themselves can cause tremendous anxiety (depression and anxiety love to go hand-in-hand), and social and interpersonal lives can cause even more anxiety. If you want to help and anxious individual, try to alleviate as much of her stress as possible. Create a sort of 'zone' where they feel safe. Relaxation, slowing down, taking a breath, and feeling safe are extremely important to deal with anxiety. There are probably very few things you could do for someone that's better than helping them cope with anxiety. However, make sure not to enable their anxiety so much that the individual gives in to it. Just lend a helping hand.
Anxiety. It has a pivotal role in the lives of many people, but there's good anxiety and bad anxiety. People with a mood disorder can very likely be susceptible to bad anxiety. The moods themselves can cause tremendous anxiety (depression and anxiety love to go hand-in-hand), and social and interpersonal lives can cause even more anxiety. If you want to help and anxious individual, try to alleviate as much of her stress as possible. Create a sort of 'zone' where they feel safe. Relaxation, slowing down, taking a breath, and feeling safe are extremely important to deal with anxiety. There are probably very few things you could do for someone that's better than helping them cope with anxiety. However, make sure not to enable their anxiety so much that the individual gives in to it. Just lend a helping hand.
This, again, is just meant to give some general advice. It may or may not be effective depending on the individuals (on both sides of the table.) Interpersonal relationships aren't - and never will be - an exact science, so try not to be discouraged when something doesn't follow through all too well. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again, as the saying goes. Also, therapy can't hurt (except in the case of your wallet, perhaps.) Therapy isn't only for people with mental disorders; anyone can benefit from therapy, even though stigmata have taught the general public otherwise. Therapy gives a person the tools to cope with stress, improve interpersonal relationship and social skills, help yourself so you can help others, and much, much more.
Much of this information can be related to various mental health areas and issues, as well as disorders, other than just bipolar (though it's certainly geared toward bipolar.) Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) also shares many characteristics of bipolar, and so much of the information is potentially transferable - at least to an extent. Two other sources to understand bipolar disorder and BPD are here Bipolar Disorder, Coping with Bipolar and Manic Depression and here An Introduction to Borderline Personality Disorder For more information on BPD and some other methods of coping with mental health problems, this is a good place to go: MeAndMyBlackTable
Much of this information can be related to various mental health areas and issues, as well as disorders, other than just bipolar (though it's certainly geared toward bipolar.) Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) also shares many characteristics of bipolar, and so much of the information is potentially transferable - at least to an extent. Two other sources to understand bipolar disorder and BPD are here Bipolar Disorder, Coping with Bipolar and Manic Depression and here An Introduction to Borderline Personality Disorder For more information on BPD and some other methods of coping with mental health problems, this is a good place to go: MeAndMyBlackTable