Gradually, lately, I've been dwelling on things. Probably the past couple of weeks. A fleeting smile, staring at a wall, negative thoughts of one form or another. When I get like this, I get more and more reminiscent. When I get reminiscent, I dwell, and when I dwell, I get depressed. Normally, it's fleeting 'depression' - hardly classifiable as depression. But... several things yesterday slid me into it like being pushed down a ravine. But... the most likely major contributor is this horrible flaring up of fibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia pain has been linked to depression and vice versa. The pain, the lethargy... it's just a lot on me right now. I also watched an episode of Shameless where the bipolar mom was launched into a bout of depression and that sort of thing always hits very close to home with me. I was on the verge of tears (though I've had difficulty releasing a single tear for a few years, now.) I took a Tramadol, a few aspirin, and a Neurontin, and none of it has made a dent. I'm thinking of taking a second Tramadol, but I'm only supposed to take a maximum of two in a single day, and so I fear that if I take a second one and the effects start to fade away later, I'll simply be left with a bunch of pain and no Tramadol for the rest of the day. Then again, I haven't taken more than one or two Tramadol since I got the prescription when there was enough to take more than one a week. Taking three or four in a single day could probably still leave plenty... unless I need to take that many for a couple or more days.
I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep, really. Taking an extra half of a Seroquel could potentially get that result, but then I would be a half down and people would only bug me if I actually kept sleeping. So I'll just drag on and try to get through it.
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